For those who know us well some of this will be redundant. Ben was raised in a cult. He went through it’s preschool through college. He earned an unaccredited bachelor of theology. He did not have a choice growing up of what he would do with his life. He was the first-born and his father made it clear that all his sons would either be a preacher or missionary. He also had no choice of schooling. Ben finished his degree and married me with the expectation that we would move to Zambia, Africa as missionaries sent from this same church/cult. God had different plans for us. I only dated Ben because I wanted to go to Africa and he was planning on going. But God completely delivered us from the bondage of that church only 3 months after we were married. Next, Ben worked as youth pastor and music director, and I as church secretary in a small church in Missouri. Then 2 years later we left the independent fundamental baptist church for good. We headed straight back into a different stripe of legalism because that’s all we knew and it felt safe and familiar. Despite our continued conservatism we were excommunicated from Ben’s family right after our first child was born. Shortly thereafter Ben realized that he was not called into ministry. We didn’t know what to do now that his degree held no value but we needed money quickly so we came up with a plan that he would become a carpenter. His dad’s own attempts at being in ministry were thwarted due to a past divorce so he had stayed in the construction business. Ben was often made to work for him And got a lot of experience that way. Nevertheless there was a lot he didn’t know. We suffered financially as he made many mistakes without a father to ask for help or answer questions. He started out doing handyman stuff and then had the opportunity to build a log home with 2 other men. Then he was hired to build custom homes. He bought books and studied at night until he became a very good builder and crew leader. He did side jobs and worked way too many hours. We never saw him. After being fired from that job for being late, he went into business for himself again. We rehabbed a home, again making many mistakes! We both learned a ton! We never had enough capital to get the business off the ground. We had four children by this time and lots of pressure to provide for them. We decided we were completely in over our heads with owning 2 homes and out of money. We couldn’t keep work coming in steadily. It was feast or famine for years. We were expecting our 5th child and out of work and things were really bad. The housing and construction market got really slow. We decided to either give back or sell both homes. Thankfully, due to God’s mercy and grace, we were able to sell both places to investors and pay off both mortgages. We did not, however, pay off the credit cards which we used to help fix up both places. We got far behind on bills as Ben had no work. We decided to revamp our business to construction management and move to St. Louis to try and reach the demographic we hoped would build our construction business. Again, no capital! Not a good situation, but we were at a loss for any other options. So we buckled down and read every business book we could get our hands on. Our business was awesome but again God had other plans. Ben finished one big job then the well was dry. We had our fifth baby and God so graciously led us completely out of legalism. We finally left the 2nd cult! What a miracle! God did another miracle shortly thereafter. We were scrounging for work, almost being evicted from our rental home. Things were as bad as they had ever been. Then an acquaintance mentioned his company was hiring construction people. Again, we researched how to build resumes, how to interview, how to start a career and then he applied to Monsanto. They first said no, then Ben asked them to reconsider. They said they would consider him for a project engineer position. After a 6 month long process he started at Monsanto as a construction project manager. They knew he didn’t have an engineering degree but were experimenting with hiring non-degreed people. They had had success in other departments. So Ben was hired at entry-level. Still it was the most money we had made and the first time we had had health insurance. But it was very tight. I was very ill at this time and we had a lot of out of pocket health expenses. Ben pressed on and was promoted twice in 2 years. Then Monsanto did a major lay-off and restructuring and Ben got selected , he was told, because he had no degree. He was called back to Monsanto as a contractor 6 months later working the same exact job only no guarantees of full time employment and no benefits. He has been working like this since March. He has been applying for other similar jobs but all require a degree. When he was laid off we did what color is your parachute and explored some other career options. One of which was security design. But again without capital or experience you can’t get the certifications you need to get going in that field. He started volunteering at the local fire department for their Search and Rescue Team. He loves that work but it is mostly volunteer. To get paid you have to go the route of Firefighter Paramedic. He’s not into firefighting so that looks out. We have been trying to figure out his calling, what did God make him for? He loves Emergency response and medical stuff. It’s interesting, I can see the same person he was way back in the confines of the cult. He still loved adventure and challenges, thus African missionary. So we have been looking into the medical careers for a couple of years now. Physician’s assistant sounds really good except for the huge debt it takes to become one. Recently during one of my job hunts for Ben I came across a RN position for a helicopter rescue company. We can’t quite provide for our family on a paramedics salary or that would be a good fit. But an RN in emergency, trauma, etc seems to be what he is interested in. And it seems to have the potential to provide for our family’s needs. But now the pressure is on as Ben’s boss told him recently that his work has to go to some other construction engineers who need more work. This will happen by October. Now Ben’s work is already slowing down and he is feeling like he needs to find some side jobs. He can’t get another part time job because he still has to travel and be available for Monsanto. So he is hoping to find some flexible side jobs to make up for the slow down in hours. It is a lot of pressure we are feeling right now. So it seems he needs to find another job to provide for us while he goes to school but we have this no degree hurdle and it is easy to feel like we are going backwards. I know this is not true. Finding one’s calling is important. And even though it is difficult it is worth it to glorify God in the purpose He created us for. I know my purpose during these years is to support Ben and raise my children. I also want my husband to be happy in his work. He hates cubicles and I don’t blame him. Not healthy! It also seems that my health is taking a turn for the worse. I have been in a lot of pain for the last week or two. Please pray for God’s guidance, provision, and healing.
